kad kitchen

Rumi (via emotional-algebra)

Hello! 안녕하세요! In light of Single Mother’s Day this Friday, I urge you to donate to TRACK (Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea/은 진실과 화해를 도모하기 위한 해외 입양인들의 모임입니다). Your donation will help fund outreach efforts in Korea that encourage public awareness of the link between single motherhood and adoption as well as adult rights to birth family information and other family preservation initiatives. At a macro level, your support funds a push towards policy change. Korea already has enough financial resources to care for single mothers and their children, but the societal stigma prevents funds from being allocated to these social welfare programs. Two Starbucks coffees (~$10) can do a lot of good for single mothers in Korea; Forgo the lattes and please consider! The link to donate is in the article. PayPal and money wiring are both accepted. Thanks for your time! 감사합니다!

hanguknamja:

Korean adoptee Fleur Pellerin is a close adviser to French socialist presidential candidate Francois Hollande, who is widely expected to win the presidency in the second round vote on May 6.

Pellerin, who advises Hollande on the digital economy and society will most likely assume a ministerial level position in the new government of France.

Born in Seoul in 1973, she was abandoned on the street after a couple of days and was eventually adopted, at the age of 6 months, by a French couple of modest means just north of Paris. She excelled at school, receiving her baccalaureat at 16 and graduated from the ENA, where the elite political class of France are educated.

In this interview with the French paper Liberation, Pellerin expresses some discomfort with her identity through a series of quotes:

“For a long time I wasn’t concerned with the idea of diversity. I never experienced racism, even if, at school, I was known as “that Chinese girl.” 

“When I look at myself in the mirror I don’t see an Asian. My face is Asian, but I feel totally French.”

“I’m not bicultural but adopted.”

“My adoption is like a small wound that I’ve decided not to scratch. I repressed the rejection in order to go with my parents’ plans. I don’t question myself.”

Korea “is a foreign country. I don’t feel any attraction to it.”

She admits that in stores in France she’s often addressed in English or Japanese.

Her original name is Jong-sook. “For a long time my parents thought it meant ‘perfect woman.’ But that’s not it at all. In fact, it’s a rather ugly name, like ‘Germaine.’ The myth collapsed.”

(via mykoreanadopteestory)

This will be a short post to be added onto later—sleep calls:

I am delving into adoptee literature—mostly, books like, The Language of Blood (Jeong Trenka) and the wealth of blogs. I have not had such a visceral experience while reading in a long time.

That said, a lot of the well-publicized narratives center on adoptees who have reunited with their birth families. This does not negate their experience, but it adds a layer, one that adoptees like me who have not yet found our birth families or have circumstances preventing a reunion cannot resonate with. For adoptees who have found their birth parents, it seems like a complete circle, a return to the prequel, answers. For me, I can best explain how I feel with a visual—a dashed circle. My life is continuous—I don’t ascribe to the believe that airplane day signifies a “new beginning.” But there are pieces that happened and were seemingly erased since while I can’t remember them, but they affect me.

Bottom line: I would like to hear more of adoptees like us, voices of adoptees who might have permanent question marks etched into our personal narratives. I plan on starting to share more of my story and I encourage you to do the same! I’m following Janet Mock (#girlslikeus) and using #adopteeslikeus for future posts in this vein.

P.S. I appreciate the courage of ALL adoptees who share their stories with the candor and grace I’ve seen so far.

Taylor Callobre, The “Good Guy” Myth  (via jurassicparkkkkk)

Me don’t love you long time.

(Source: andjaimescreamed, via madebymillie)

One of the few benefits of being on the job hunt is getting to spend more time with my baby niece, Grace. She’ll be turning two months this weekend. My older sister, Vikki, could not be a prouder mama. I am happy being an aunt. Grace and I spent our first hour alone yesterday afternoon (we both survived!) and will have our first city adventure, Friday.

Yet all of this pink, baby happiness triggers me, reeling me into my own adoption story. At two weeks, my own birth mother made the decision to have me adopted. At Grace’s age, two months, I was being cared for by a foster mother. By three and a half months, I was on an airplane to JFK airport in NYC to meet my “mom,” the only mother I know. Seeing Grace grow, from Vikki’s pregnancy, the delivery, and to every little milestone since, my excitement for this new family is sometimes tempered by my own sense of loss.

Vikki is big on attachment parenting: fostering a strong emotional connection between the mother and child. There is no letting the baby “cry it out,” here. Every need the baby has is met with expediency. I watch Vikki revolve herself around Grace. She is attuned to her needs, but even more, surrounding her with love and positivity. I have no doubt that Grace knows she is loved, exactly as she should be!

This is the first time I have been around a baby and seen the natural evolution of a mother-child relationship from birth. As a result, it’s also the first time I’ve seen firsthand what I missed and feel that vacant feeling in my stomach coupled with a weighty heart, the pangs of missing someone, something. Grace will not remember this early period in her life, only learn pieces from her mom, see herself adoringly posed in baby photos. Even though, she hasn’t developed the awareness to “know” I have no doubt being blanketed in this love now will have a positive effect later.

As adoptees, our attachment processes were essentially, interrupted. Our lives continued, transposed into a different key. The attachments that we subsequently formed to our new parents is not lesser, but born out of a different set of variables. And today, at 24, I am feeling a new, raw sense of loss from the original version.

If you are a KAD, have you had a kindred experience?

Really interesting development. What do you all think, especially you, gentlemen?

Nothing stops us from living fully but ourselves, and unaware most of the time. We are the masters of self-limitations.

So I am inviting you to truly think over what is your banana, and drop it.

In a culture where they are often ostracized, some unmarried mothers are joining together to assert their right to raise children without a spouse.

My birth mother was one of these women: a single mother at 15 years old with negligible support from her family or government social welfare programs. She was also a victim of rape; not only a misguided teen.

If you are currently living in Korea, I’d urge you to volunteer an hour of your time on behalf of single mothers and their children. One Korean BBQ dinner at a nice restaurant is how much these women receive monthly to support their families (~$43 a month)

Consider donating to Duri home, Korea.

so neat—plugs into USB and absorbs evil computer radiation vibes; perhaps! (Taken with instagram)